Parent Wellness Center

7 Signs of Teen Drug Use: Part 7

7. Missing in Action

Is your Teen frequently not where he or she is supposed to be? This often goes hand in hand with keeping secrets and lying. A teen who’s life is centered around the acquisition and use of drugs will be unable to maintain the responsibilities of work, school or family activities. There is only so much time in the day, and just getting drugs on a consistent basis takes a lot of planning. The addict must have money to pay for drugs, connections to a supplier, and a safe place to do the transaction. All that must occur before the drug user has even obtained the drugs. Then he or she must find a safe place to do the drugs, and then ensure that they have time to enjoy their high, as well as a place to keep any left over drugs safe for next time. As a result, many teens who have a drug problem will cut class more frequently, miss work, or excuse themselves from family activities. There is a notable exception to this, which are those students and athletes who use drugs in an attempt to enhance their academic or athletic performance. These students may use cocaine, methamphetamine or steroids to be the “perfect” student or athlete.

Some of these behaviors taken alone, or occurring rarely, are normal and even developmentally appropriate for adolescents. The biological and psychological drive of adolescence is towards independence. Teenagers are programmed to try new things, take risks, experiment, and of course, to rebel. This article is not meant to panic parents into over-reacting, but to help them to be aware of over-all patterns that can be indicative of problematic drug-use. None of these behaviors in mild form are particularly unusual, but if your child is exhibiting several of these warning signs on a consistent basis, then something is going on that warrants further investigation on your part.

7 Signs of Teen Drug Use: Part 6

6. Missing Time

Does your child find it difficult to account for all of his/her time during the day? Of course it is nearly impossible for anyone to give a completely accurate accounting of their time, but if there are large chunks of time missing in your teens account, or if missing time is a recurring problem, it could be a sign that your child is using drugs. Clearly, it is a red flag that they are doing something that they don’t want you to know about. An example might be the teen who regularly walks or bikes home from school, and gets home 1-2 hours after you expect him/her.

7 Signs of Teen Drug Use: Part 5

5. Emotional Signs

Has your teen become emotionally withdrawn? The most common emotional effect of drug and alcohol use within the family is withdrawal. This often takes the form of physical avoidance. For instance, your teen may stay out of the house as much as possible, especially when you are home. If he is home when you are, he may be in the room with his door shut, and if he is forced by circumstance to be in the same room/car with you, he probably puts on the headphones to his ipod or turns the car stereo up as high as you will allow. The same teen that used to ask you for advice or tell you the latest gossip at school will no longer volunteer any information at all. When you ask her a direct question, she will keep her answers as short and non-informative as possible, or may ignore you altogether.

Is your teen more irritable, aggressive, or defensive (than usual)? Aggression and irritability occur frequently with amphetamine use, and can also be indicative of a hangover, withdrawal, or “crash” following a binge. Being overly defensive often accompanies drug and alcohol use. It is quite successful in pushing people away. As the need for drugs or alcohol becomes more consuming, the addict is less inclined to spend time or energy with people or in activities that are not directly linked to his substance use. Many teens using drugs subscribe to the old adage, “the best defense is a good offense”. If your daughter can start a fight or find a reason to attack you verbally, it is less likely that you will remember that you came into her room to confront her on where she was last night or why she cut class.

7 Signs of Teen Drug Use: Part 4

4. Physical Signs

Has your teen recently lost or gained a significant amount of weight? Obviously weight loss or gain alone is not a symptom of drug or alcohol abuse, but taken in context, and along with other factors, it can be a red flag that your teen is experiencing a problem. Rapid, significant weight loss can be indicative of methamphetamine or cocaine use, whereas weight gain is often linked to marijuana use.

Eyes: Red, glassy, and/or swollen eyes can be a symptom of marijuana use. Shaking pupils can occur with certain types of amphetamine or designer drugs.

Speech: rapid, pressured speech is often associated with amphetamine use, while “spacey-ness” or inability to maintain a consistent train of thought or thread of conversation can be a sign of marijuana use. Another sign of amphetamine or ecstasy use may be teeth grinding or inadvertent jaw movements.

7 Signs of Teen Drug Use: Part 3

3. Lies

Have you recently caught your teen lying more frequently? Most teenagers lie to their parents at some point. Parent: “Did you do finish your homework?’ Teenager: “I didn’t have any tonight.” This is a fairly normal example of an impulsive, short-term lie a teenager might tell to get out of an impending negative consequence. However, like the above-mentioned secrets, this article is referring to a much more globalized way of dealing with life via lying. If drugs have become an important part of your child’s life, and this is not acceptable to you, he or she will be forced to lie to you again and again about where she is, what she is doing, who she is with, etc. Eventually lying becomes a way of life because knowing even a little about her real activities would immediate alert you that there is a problem.

7 Signs of Teen Drug Use: Part 2

2. Secrets

Is your child excessively concerned about you being in her room, listening to her phone calls, seeing her text messages, my space page or other internet activities?

As children move through adolescence to adulthood privacy becomes much more important. Normal adolescents have a desire for privacy about certain topics or conversations, but a teen who is using drugs will have a generalized, sometimes paranoid need to keep secrets. A teen with a serious addiction problem is, of necessity, living a double life, and will be extremely aware of any slip that might tip you off to what is going on. He will become incensed when you enter his room to drop off his clean clothes, whisper or leave the room for every phone conversation, and will go into a panic if you get your hands on his cell phone or catch a glimpse of his text messages. The internet offers a whole new arena of concerns, through instant messaging, chat rooms, and social networking sites. Technology is evolving so rapidly that it is often difficult to monitor internet use, even with parental safety software. All your child has to do is use a computer at a friend’s house or school to avoid any spy ware you may have installed at home. In addition, these days many teens are more computer savvy than their parents and can often get around generic home computer safeguards.

7 Signs of Teen Drug Use: Part 1

Would you know if your teen was using drugs?
Today I am starting a 7 part series on how to recognize signs of drug use in your teen.

Drugs and alcohol have become a pervasive part of adolescent culture across the country. As a marriage and family therapist who has spent the last 10 years working on both high school and middle school campuses, I have worked with many teens and families coping with drug and alcohol problems. Not all teens who experiment with or occasionally use drugs or alcohol will go on to develop serious problems with addiction. However, a significant percentage of them will, and for those families, studies have shown that early intervention is one of the best predictors of successful treatment.

This is by no means a comprehensive list, but it is a good tool to help you evaluate the possibility that your teen is in distress resulting from drug or alcohol use. It is important to note that many of the signs listed below can be included in the normal range of adolescent behaviors, and are not, in and of themselves, indicative of serious drug use. The degree to which these symptoms are a predictor of excessive drug or alcohol use in your child depends on the FREQUENCY and INTENSITY of the symptoms below.

1. MONEY
Does your teen have much more or much less money than expected? Teenagers are notorious for being money-hungry, but a teen with a drug problem will spend progressively more and more of his time thinking up ways to get drugs. As a result, he will probably try to obtain as much money as possible. Conversely, many drug users eventually turn to formal or informal dealing of their drug to subsidize the cost. In this case, your child may stop asking for money at all, or you may see him with large amounts or denominations of cash.

Have you found yourself or other members of your household missing money or other valuable objects? Have you recently “lost” your wallet, or found only $10 in there when you were sure you had $20 or more? People with substance abuse issues can be very crafty in finding ways to get the money they need for drugs and alcohol. They will often take only small amounts of money at a time, hoping that its absence will not be noticed, or will be chalked up to forgetfulness or carelessness. Many times teens with drug problems will steal or “borrow” from a sibling, grandparent, or other family member who may not be as aware of what is going on, or would be more likely to keep a secret. More tomorrow...

Depression-Proof Your Kids eClass

Suicide is the third leading cause of death for young people in our country - Is Your child at risk?

Do you know what to look for?

Depression in children and teens can look very different than what you might expect. Many children and young adults (especially boys) tend to act out impulsively or aggressively. They are seen as angry or withdrawn, unable to focus at school, show poor judgement, and sometimes engage in risky behavior. Young girls often act out sexually, and young people of both sexes frequently turn to drugs and alcohol to escape the pain. Depression is frequently misdiagnosed by teachers at school as ADD or ADHD or as a behavior disorder.

How can these kids, who are so obviously in distress, get the help they need if the adults in their lives don't even understand the problem?

So you know that your kid is in trouble, or you're afraid he/she could be, now what do you do?

Where can you go to get help? You can submit your tape to Nanny 911 or Dr. Phil and hope they pick you...Oh yeah, and then be "That Family"...You know, the house that other parent's don't want to send their kids to? The kids who parents don't want to invite into their home? The ones who now have every mistake they ever made broadcasted throughout the country and on record for the rest of their lives?

OK, well, then you can go to Family therapy and pay about $100/session for an average of 10-12 sessions to get a proper assessment and to learn the tools you need to support your child. (This is actually a great option for some families, and as a Marriage and Family Therapist I provide this service quite often in my private practice). You get individualized, professional help from an expert, and you get to keep your privacy. Note the price (for the assessment and family sessions alone) would run you somewhere between $1000 - $1,200.

If your child does need further treatment for his/her depression, studies have shown that the combination of therapy and medication has the best recovery rate, so the therapist will probably suggest individual treatment for your child and give you a referral for a doctor or psychiatrist to prescribe medication as well. (NOTE: if you are considering medication for your child, you should ALWAYS ask for a referral to a psychiatrist who specializes in working with children, and if possible, one who has extensive experience with depression and other mood disorders). The fee for the psychiatrist will probably depend on your insurance, assuming that you can find a child psychiatrist in your area that accepts your insurance and has an open practice. If you do end up paying a psychiatrist out of pocket, it will probably run you between $150-$300 per session, depending on where you live, the doctor's level of experience, and his/her availability. Of course you then have to schedule weekly office visits, so you might also be factoring in 1-3 hours of lost work revenue per week between the sessions and travel time.

Please understand that I am not trying to discourage you from getting appropriate professional treatment for your child. In fact, the whole reason that I created this class was to help families address this very serious and growing problem that our young people are facing. This class is NOT a substitute for therapy. It is a way for you to do a pre-assessment to help you evaluate the degree of risk to your child, to help you determine the best course of action for your family, and to learn what YOU can do as a parent to help your child.

I am a therapist, I work with teens and families in my practice everyday, and everyday I get to work with amazing families and see them change and grow. I LOVE my job, and I think that therapy is an invaluable resource for children and families struggling with depression. However, even in the best of cases, when therapy goes along smoothly and we see steady and consistent improvement, I am still only able to provide 1-2 hours of direct service per week for that child and family.

As a parent, You probably spend somewhere between 4 and 8 waking ours with your child EVERYDAY. What if you had the tools to implement powerful parenting techniques with your child for those 4-8 hours each day? Can you even imagine the positive change that this could have on your family?

Whether you are addressing these issues within your family or in conjunction with professional help, there is nothing more powerful than an educated, supportive parent who understands his/her child's problems and is dedicated to finding and implementing solutions.

So how do you learn those tools?

You could sign up for a One-size-fits all "miracle course", and hope the problems they discuss in the recorded tapes apply to you. Of course you're pretty much out of luck if they don't, and the ones that do offer individualized support from their bank of phone operators (who were trained where? and have what experience?) generally charge you a monthly fee, whether you use their service or not.

You can buy a hard copy or eBook on depression, but like the other online "parenting programs", you are pretty much on your own. You hope that the information they provide is relevant to your situation, and try to implement it as best you can to fit your needs. This may or may not work, but you are usually out the time and money regardless.

OR...

You can check out my eClass on depression

(which was developed from my real world experience as a therapist working with families as well as on extensive research...and which I am continually updating and adding to) and sign up for a short, practical, eCourse that will be delivered to your email inbox over the course of a month , and that you can take at YOUR convenience. If your family is anything like mine, that usually means sometime after 9pm, when the kids are in bed, the house is (reasonably?) clean, and I have a few minutes to myself.

While many of the lessons in this class are great parenting tools that would benefit any family, it has been developed to address the specific needs of parents who are concerned about their child's level of depression. This class will teach you how to assess your child's needs, helps you determine when and where to go to get additional help for your child, teaches you skills that you can implement in your home on a daily basis to support your child, and provides action steps with each lesson so that you can APPLY the specific information you need RIGHT AWAY.

Have a question? Have 10 Questions? Not sure how to implement one of the strategies with your family? What I wrote just makes no sense to you? You tried something I suggested and it was a miserable failure, but you have no idea why? You can choose to have UNLIMITED email support from ME (not a random phone operator that you will never see or hear from again) for the entire duration of the class!

What if I need more help? I read the course, I implemented your ideas, I asked you questions over email, but for some reason, things just aren't jelling. There are LOTS of different reasons why new approaches don't work right away, and they are not all immediately apparent. Sometimes the adults in the home are inadvertently sending mixed messages to kids, sometimes parents have underlying issues (such as their own undiagnosed depression) that surface when you try something new, and sometimes a particular situation is just more complex and needs the input of an expert who has had years of experience working with different families. You can decide exactly how many individual phone coaching sessions (if any) you want, which means that you can decide exactly how much money you spend.

Oh yeah, did I mention that the coaching is done over the phone, so you can schedule the sessions when and where it is convenient for you?

But what if I don't know exactly what my family needs to move forward? Things aren't working, and none of us are happy, but I'm just not sure what to do next.

That is EXACTLY why I offer an initial 30 minute phone consultation FREE OF CHARGE, and with no obligation! Together, we will clarify your main concerns and create an individualized course of action that focuses on meeting the needs of your family. In same cases, we may decide that a class or coaching isn't best for you. In this case, I will give you practical suggestions on where to look for local resources in your area that WILL meet your needs.

Because this class is NOT a one-size-fits-all program that is completely automated like so many others, there are some constraints on it...like my time, energy, and commitment to my own family! I don't contract out ANY of the services I provide, so there are a limited number of spaces per month for the email and coaching levels of each class. As a result, they are filled on a first come- first serve basis, and sometimes I even take a week off for vacation!

Parents who are currently receiving email or phone coaching services have priority each month, and are guaranteed a space for as long as they wish to continue. Next priority will go to parents who are currently enrolled in the basic class, or have previously received any class or coaching services.

You will receive a full month's worth (4 weeks) of email and phone coaching services during vacation months, they will simply roll over to the week following the one I am unavailable.

So how much will this cost?

Class Fees:
Depression-Proof Your Kids eClass: $47
eClass & 4 weeks Unlimited email support: $97
eClass, 4 weeks of email support, & Phone Coaching: $97 plus Coaching fees based on the package you choose.

Coaching Fees:
2 session package: $120
4 session package: $240
6 session package: 10% discount $315
8 session package: 15% discount $408

If you were to choose the class, unlimited email support and the 8 session coaching package, your total cost would be $505. This may seem like a large expenditure at first, but lets take a closer look at what you receive for you money, and how it compares to other options.

You Receive:
1. Vital information, skills, tools, and resources, including the ability to assess your child's risk and degree of depression, to create a plan that addresses your concerns, and to learn new parenting tools that you can implement on a daily basis to help support your child.

2. Virtually 24 hour a day support via email (I do sleep sometimes, so I promise to try to return emails within 24 hours, barring unforeseen difficulties such as natural disaster or server crash).

3. Two months worth of weekly phone coaching sessions to help you formulate, implement, and troubleshoot an individualized plan for your family.

The only option that even compares to this would be family therapy. Since we estimated the cost fort the initial assessment and family therapy to be about $1,000, you can see that even the most intensive and expensive package you can choose will still cost you about 50% less than other options.

And remember, you can get invaluable information, tools, and treatment planning skills for the price of the class alone, $47.

Start off with the class alone and see how it goes. Use the information and test out the tools for a FULL YEAR. If you don't feel that they were helpful, I will return the cost of the class, and you can keep the materials as a Thank You for trying the course. You can always purchase the 4 weeks of email support and/or a coaching package once you have begun receiving the lessons, or even after you are done!

So email me today to schedule your no obligation, 30 minute FREE initial consultation and let me help your family today!

Lisa DiMarino, LMFT
lisa@parentwellnesscenter.com
415 Cambridge Ave., Suite #22
Palo Alto, Ca.
94306

Would you know what to do in a Parenting Crisis?

I recently had to call 911 for my girlfriends' 3 year old son when he lost consciousness after a fall, and I can honestly say it was one of the most horrible moments of my life.

Luckily, the paramedics, police and firemen all made it to the house before I even got off the phone with the dispatch operator, and they confirmed that he had regained consciousness and was fine.

A few weeks later, a neighbor saved her newly adopted infant daughters life by administering CPR when she experienced breathing complications due to the RSV virus. Another happy ending, as she was able to revive her daughter and she is now home from the hospital and recovering nicely.

What would you have done in these situations? I have taken a CPR class every 2 years since I was in my early 20's, but I wonder if I would have been able to save one of my children in that situation. Would I have even thought of it, or would I have wasted precious time panicking?

Being the knowledge-obsessed person that I am, I decided to do some research on crisis management, which eventually led to my mini eClass "Worst Case Scenario- How to Handle a Parenting Crisis".

I am offering this class FREE of charge, as I think it is really important for us as parents to be prepared for any eventuality. I was inspired to create the class by two families dear to my heart who had very extreme situations, but as I began researching and writing, I realized that the principles really apply to Any parenting crisis...and lets face it, we run into a lot! I am also providing a Free subscription to my monthly eZine, Well Parent, as a bonus when you sign up for the Crisis class. I am in the process of finalizing the class now, and as soon as I figure out how to add the sign up button, both the class and the newsletter will be available to you free of charge!

Note: I value your privacy and will never sell, barter or rent your email address to any unauthorized third party.

Lisa DiMarino, LMFT
lisa@ParentWellnessCenter.com
(650) 766-3637
415 Cambridge Ave, Suite #22
Palo Alto, Ca.
94306

OnLine Classes

Class List

Depression-Proof Your Kids

This class is designed to be an introduction to some of the basic underlying causes of depression, to help you evaluate your family's communication and coping skills, and to give you skills, strategies and techniques you can use to help your children avoid or recover from depression.

Reducing Parent Stress

Unlike most other classes on the site, this one is all about the parents. Learn immediate stress reduction techniques, develop a long-term plan to reduce stress and chaos in your life, identify and realize your ideal lifestyle, and remember what it feels like to ENJOY being a parent again.

Positive Parenting with the Family Rules Program

By far the best behavior modification program I have encountered. Developed bt Dr. Matt Johnson, this system is simple, practical, and works wonders for kids 5-18. You won't need to spend a ton of money, and there is very little maintenance once you have it up and running.

Worst-Case Scenario; How to Handle a Parenting Crisis

I am offering this class FREE of charge, as I think it is really important for us as parents to be prepared for any eventuality. I was inspired to create the class by two families dear to my heart who had very extreme situations, but as I began researching and writing, I realized that the principles really apply to Any parenting crisis...and lets face it, we run into a lot! I am also providing a Free subscription to my monthly eZine, Well Parent, as a bonus when you sign up for the Crisis class. I am in the process of finalizing the class now, and as soon as I figure out how to add the sign up button, both the class and the newsletter will be available to you free of charge!

Note: I value your privacy. I will never sell, barter, or rent your email address to any unauthorized third party.

These classes are based on my real world experiences working as a Marriage and Family Therapist for the last 10 years, and as a mother of two. You determine the level of support you want:

1. eClass delivered directly to your email inbox over the course of a month
2. eClass with one month unlimited email support (I will respond to all questions and concerns within 24 hours)
3. eClass with one month unlimited email support and personal phone coaching - you decide the number of coaching sessions you need.

Email me to schedule your FREE initial consultation so that we can create a plan for your family.

Lisa DiMarino, LMFT
lisa@ParentWellnessCenter.com
(650)766-3637
415 Cambridge Ave., Suite #22
Palo Alto, Ca.
94306